Uber hipster bullshit spit up #1:

Kids dressed like animals or in some kind of goofy fucking grandpa looking apparel.

#2:

Being really skinny/ emaciated as fuck/looking like something (they hope) is perceived as fragile or damaged.

#3

Big dumb glasses with no lenses or plastic, non-prescription lenses.

#4

“Picnic on your face” plaid scarves.

#5

Instant gratification when one admits they’ve not heard of a band said hipster listens to. AKA: SCORE!

#6: Smoking. Especially American Spirits. You’re not getting any healthier, dumb fuck. (Not all people who smoke are hipsters, obviously. Most smokers don’t constantly state their obscene need for NICOTINE LOVING after shows or at the bar while sipping a PBR in a face picnic scarf).